Well, those recruits who were enlisted in Thursday and Friday are also gonna enjoy a long long weekend too!! That's great for them... After being trapped on that isolated island for two full weeks!
The day passed by very quickly, which I have no idea how come... Maybe it's because I know that I'll be booking out today...
GOsh! I hate staying at the LSA/Messing Office. Only one OA PC, and about 7 people are fighting over it to do their work and paper work... ANd that Mr Gary, is always having all sort of "gatherings", "meetings" & other shit craps with us, and practically the content were quite useless.
Maybe he deemed it as useful, but I reckoned that the time wasted listening to him, would have been used to complete some of my paperworks....
Anyway, Don't wanna spoil my mood for the rest of the week. I have a great weekend ahead haah!! CHEERS!
Last night, all of a sudden, my mood dropped rock bottom. I was in my bunk, all alone. Suddenly, I started thinking back about why the attitudes of my colleagues, all of a sudden changed 180 degree. The change came so fast, so hard, so harsh, that actually I'm bearing with it every single day, every minute, every hour, every second. Firdaus commented how could I still appear so happy, after all these happened. I could only replied him that I chose to pass each day with happiness, but within me, my heart is being torn apart, my feelings were being stomped upon, my kindness is being used & re-used as a weapon just to get things done.
Still, I treated as if nothing happened at all. I decided to remain null, numb, quiet, silent...
As if like it was automated, I picked up my HP and started asking some of my best buddies how they think of me as a person, whether I'm good or bad. They started questioning why? I replied with a "Nothing, just asking. Wanna know myself better...."
At that point of time, my mind was on the verge of collapse. The mental stress built up within was about to explode, tears were at the edge of my eyes, overflowing anytime. But luckily, the sound SMSes coming in, somehow or rather prevented those erupting tears from exploding. I was saved from yet another emotional collapse. I wondered to myself how can I face another day of such coldness from my colleagues. I questioned myself how unhumanly can they get with their treatments towards their fellow colleagues and partners. They were such disgusting animals, which previously I've never came to realise. Such horrible monsters were hidden underneath those smiles and laughters... Hidden fangs and claws, sticking out from their mouths and fingers, as if ever-ready to strike and pound on any un-wary preys...
I'm totally, utterly, deeply, disappointed... ... ...
___________________________________________________________________
19/09/2006 Tuesday
Dunno what's happening to me...Been feeling very restless, and tired. What's wrong with me?? I seem to be always "sleep not enough"...
People around the SCH 2 HQ are treating me differently as compared to the past. Previously, people whom I always chatted, laughed, joked and played with, sudddenly seem to ahve turned their back towards me and start ignoring me, and act as if I'm invisible...
What the heck have I done to deserve all these??? Ever since I got posted to HQ, this issue has been noticed by me, and my ex-DYLOG. And he has also discussed this issue with me personally on two occassions, though I told him that it's impossible to please everyone. If I do that, then people would realised that I'm very fake. I might as well, just be who I am, what I am. If others can't accept it or comply to it. Then, there's nothing much I can do. The most I could do, would be to perhaps tone down on my hype level, and be more quiet...
Anyway, if that's the case...Then so be it...
___________________________________________________________________20/09/2006 Wednesday
As usual, today was quite another busy day (Well, Not that busy at all, Most of the time was wasted away on waiting...).
At 10am, I had to take a Fast craft out and meet this guy who does custom-made No.3 uniforms for PES E recruits. Both of us agreed to meet @ 10:25am, but that Asshole came 15mins late, and thus I missed the 10:30am Fastcraft and had to wait patiently like an idiot at the SFT for the 11:30am Fastcraft. But nevertheless, I was able to receive at least 1 set of the No.3 uniform for the recruit to wear.
Now, talking about Orion's Storeman, Indra. GOSH! That guy is really getting on my nerves!!! I really wonder to myself, why am I able to keep my composure whenever I talk to him. Everytime I talk to him, I had to repeat myself at least 3 times the same message, before he can get the thing across... GOSH! And me, being a person who hates repeating myself over and over again. Can't believe that I didn't even blew my top, whenever I talk to him...
But looking at it from another angle, this might be a good time to further train myself to control my temper and anger.
Just began to realise that handling Humans is really an art that everyone needs to master. Especially through emails. Just came to realise that the emails I've been sending out these few days, have been getting longer and longer. And i begin to have "Hua Zhong Hua". Gosh! Can't believe that I'm starting to have a split personality in Army... Totally hate that things are turning out this way... Why can't things be done in a simpler way???
Anyway, Friday I'll be on OFF.. haha! My FIRST OFFICIAL OFF ever since I've been posted to BMTC. During my days in SCH 2 LOG BR, I didn't dared to take any off-days, cause I was just beginning to pick up the trade and trick...
But now that I'm more or less settled down, it's time I start clearing my leaves and OFFs lolZ... But FIRST! I must finish all my paperwork tomorrow. Before I take my leave lolz.
No comments:
Post a Comment