Saturday, September 29, 2007

A Question...

A phrase quoted from a blog:
"What do guys know about love?

I find it rather funny when female friends asked me this question. In their mind, they always felt that guys don’t know anything about love. Even if they do know about it but they never seem to be emotional towards anything.

I don’t think it’s true.

I find guys are as emotional and sentimental as any species of any kind. Maybe the fact of us being born as male species requires them to be dominant.

Ego, pride, whatever you name it. The feeling does not allow others to recognize them as the weaker kind that falls into wheels of emotion.

In a relationship, the role of the male is to protect and possess the female as so to say. Being protective means you have express yourself as mentally strong and not swayed into temptations.

But not all guys are like that.

As far as I know there are a couple of them who gets all emotional during a quarrel. Guys do cry when they are sad. It’s a lie if they tell you they never cry before, for there’s nothing chauvinist for a man to shed his tears but for a fruitful course that is.

Adults cried quietly, trying to hide the attention of those weary eyes.

I cried many times in my life, sometimes over silly things, sometimes over a sad movie, sometimes over a failure, sometimes over a relationship. But if you ask me whether I have cried before, my answer would most probably be a straight no in your face.

But if you ask me what I know about love. My answer would surprisingly be a ‘no’ too.

All I can only tell you that love is a remarkable experience that only you alone can feel when it hits you.

Everyone’s definition and impression is different and there’s no right or wrong to it. There’s no logic or rational thinking towards love. There’s only how you feel that leads you. That’s why people always say “go with your heart” in a relationship.

A relationship is not measurable with any formula or logical explanation. If you like a person, you will really like him/her despite all the bad points that he/she has… and even you yourself won’t believe what decision you have made.

When that time comes, you’ll know that you’re in love.

This is Love, all irrational and unbelievably true.
"

End of Quote...
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I dunno how true is that. But like the author said... Guys will say "No, I don't know much about Love..." even for me... Although there's one sentence I agreed with the author and that is:

"A relationship is not measurable with any formula or logical explanation. If you like a person, you will really like him/her despite all the bad points that he/she has… and even you yourself won’t believe what decision you have made."

I once liked a girl very, very much...

Till a point that I liked her anger, her stubbornness, her unreasonableness, her straight-forwardness, her everything...

Her silliness would never fail to bring a smile to my face, even if it was just a small gesture by her.

Her smile would brighten up my dull days...
Her tears would stir my emotions to feel with her...
Her lousy sense of direction would urge me to grab her by her hand to guide her to the right path...
I would do literally anything for her, just to see her smile, just to see her happy...
Simple & Pure. Never once had I doubted my feelings for her. Never once had I questioned myself. All because I followed my heart...

Even though she might never once thought about two of us being together, I never regretted liking her, letting her know my feelings for her, making all the so-called "silly decisions & actions". For I followed my heart...

I once liked a girl very, very much...

And I still do...

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Sick Demon found me.... *Sad*

Argh! Being sick sucks! Sucks big time I tell you.... I talk a bit *cough cough* I breathe a bit *A chu*

sigh... Yesterday was Mid-Autumn Festival, yet I spent the whole night not enjoying the moon, but resting in my bed, fighting those evil viral... ARGH!!!

Took half day off to come back home to rest... I think I'm kinda irritated by cold air... cuz the Moment I got out from Air Con room, my coughing and sneezing stopped all together... Sigh...

I WANNA GET WELLL!!! Take that you irritating virus! *Throws a punch at the Virus*

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Finally my trip to Taiwan can be realised!!! Planning on 23rd March or 30th March. And it'll be a 5D 5N trip there... coming back on the 6th Day heee... Will be going with my dear sisters of 12 years...

It'll be fun!!! But have to book tickets and hotel rooms quick, as they're being grabbed up pretty fast!

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Just read her blog. She has someone she like now. Great. Must be a guy in her life guard course.
Tall, Handsome, has a bike, has a career, wonderful personality. *Smile*

Since she has someone she adores now... I guess it's about time for me to move on as well... Somehow or rather, after knowing that she has a liking or crush on someone, I felt a sense of relieve, and not a sense of jealousy... Strange...

Still, I should move on... Enjoy my single-hood again! Enjoy being a bachelor once more! Well, that's until I find a girl I wanna spend the rest of my life with... Else, I guess I'll just stay single...

haha!!!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Happiness...???

stolen from Sherilyn *Sori :P*

[ ]You have a boyfriend/girlfriend
[ ]You are in love
[x]You have your own room.
[x]You own a cell phone.
[x]You have an ipod/ mp3 player
[x]Your parents are still married.
[x]You have more than 1 best friend.
[ ]There is a swimming pool in yourbackyard
T.0.T.A.L: 5

*

[x] You dress how you want to.
[x] You hang out with friends more than once a week
[x] There is a computer/ laptop inyour room
[ ] You have never been beaten up
[x] You NEVER cry more than twice a month.
[x] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to.
[x] Your room is big enough for you.
T.0.T.A.L: 6

*


[x] You have over 50 friends onfriendster
[x] You have over 500 friends on friendster
[ ] You have over 1000 friends on friendster
[x] You have pictures on friendster
[x] Your parents let you have a friendster
[x] You get allowance
[x] You collect something normal.
[x] You look forward to goingto school.
[x] You don't wish you were someone else.
[x] You play a sport.
[x] You do something after school.
T.O.T.A.L: 10

*

[ ] You own a car.
[x] You usually don't fight with your mom
[x] You are satisfied with your appearance
[ ] You have never gotten a failing grade in your life
[x] You have friends
T.0.T.A.L: 3

*

[x] You know what is going on in theworld.
[x] You care about many people.
[x] You know more than one language
[x] You have a screen name.
[ ] You own a pet.
[x] You know the words to more than 5 songs.
[x] You dont have any enemies
[x] You are a generally nice person.
T.O.T.A.L: 7

*

T.O.T.A.L... O.V.E.R.A.L.L: 31
Now count your numbers and multiply by 3!
my life is 93% happy! hahaha :D

Real or not haha!!! I'm 93% Happy hahaha!!! That's great!!!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Weekends...

Met up with Bernice, Sally, Anna first on Saturday evening. After which, we slacked around PS & walked all the way to Orchard. Along the way, we were helping Anna to look for a name card holder for her Boyfriend. Saw a few designs and some of them were really nice haha!!!

Sally had to go off earlier because she's a Modern Day Cinderella. We can't blame her, cuz in Asian Countries, parents are normally more strict towards girls, as girls are so-called weaker in phyiscal strength and easily get bullied. And Parents would advise girls not to stay out too late, avoid dark lanes or areas which are too quiet, as flashers or rapists might be around. These are the exact similar things I told my sister as well...

With Sally going off, we headed down to Clark Quay to meet up with Linda & her friend at Riverside Point. They were having their dinner at this Bar / Restaurant called "Brewaeks"

This restaurant sells western fusion food, but the main focus is their beer. Their beer selections are specially-flavoured with Honey, spices, peppermint etc etc. They made known to people that their beer are meant to be slowly enjoyed, and not like regular beers, to be "pour" down our throat like tasteless, odourless water.

And this is the first time I've tasted beer with such layers of flavours. We tried "Golden Ale" A drink, with a balanced blend of wheat's bitterness & the sweetness of honey. Gentle on the tongue, soothing on the throat. haha!!! Try it man!!

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Chin Mei smsed me this morning and asked me, whether is it alright for a girl to say "I like you" to a guy.

I replied: "There's no right or wrong. Only willing to face the true feelings or not... Made known your feelings to him. Even if he rejects you, at least you have no regrets, cuz you were brave enough to tell someone you like him"

Just hope that the guy she's proposing to, realises that Chin Mei is an unpolished gem. A beautiful & great girl, in a small body...

As for me... The girl I like... Might never dare to face her true feelings for me, no matter how many times I make my feelings known to her...

Monday, September 10, 2007

Mount Faber

Woke up at around 12plus today. Watched 2 discs of "Ai Qing Mo Jie"

Then went over to my granny's house... Only then I realised that it was "Da Ah Peh's" Birthday.
And he give us blessings, as well as allow us to ask questions on how to resolve whatever problems we have.

For me, I don't think the problems I'm facing now are so bad that left me no choice but to seek help from God. So, when he asked me whether I have anything to ask, I said "No..."

Then he asked me what job I'm working now, I replied that I'm working at a Bridal Shop. After which he said "Very good. Bright Future. Must be hardworking..." I could only reply, "Yes I will..."

Then, he started to do those "finger-counting" thing that we would normally see in those chinese movies. But I suddenly felt that "Da Ah Peh" seems to look something, but he just wanted me to ask him, instead of him telling me... IMO, I just let nature take its course. If it's bound to happen, it will happen.

When I reached home, my Dad tagged us along for dinner with his "Tang Zhu" friends. Oh boy! Was it a Feast!!!



We had Horfun, Fried Egg Noodles, Fried Oyster omelet, Fish Steak, Fried rice, Claypot Tofu, sweet & sour pork ribs, carrot cake & last but not least Spicy Gong Bao Chicken.

SO YUMMY!!!! *...Salivating... *

Then, Tang Zhu suggested that we go for a stroll at Vivo City. It was simply splendid. All of us sat at the back of the Lorry, and the wind just breezed by our faces. It's been a long while since I last sat at the back of a lorry...

On the way back, we made a detour to Mount Faber...

Mount Faber leh... OMG!!! I've lived in Singapore for 22 years & I've never even been there before. Really never regret going there... The view of Singapore was just simply BREATH-TAKING...


Too bad the trees & bushes were just too tall...


haha!!! The Ferries Wheel is ALMOST DONE!!! Official Opening is on Valentines' Day.


Lorry Moved too fast haha!!! The skyscrapers of Singapore...

Saturday, September 08, 2007

am I over-concerned?

Am I being over-concerned about my friend's well being?

A few moments ago, while celebrating my Sister's belated bday with her friends, she told me that she's not feeling well... Then, I told her to sleep early..since she has a long & tiring schedule the very next day. TO my surprise, she was still on MSN after I reached home around 1:30am.

I advised her to go sleep soon, as she has to wake up very early tomorrow to go work, and further more she was down with flu & headache. Her body's immune system would slowly become weaker & weaker if she don't take good care of it...

Then, I just shot it out: "Nvm...U're old enough to know what's good for you..."

"Don't use this on me...
If you wanna cont. to rack on...
Save it...
Or else I block you..."

Thought to myself...WTF!?

"Fine. I'll just shut up...
Take care & good night"

My care & concern for this friend was deeply bruised again... She just shafted another knife straight into my heart, but not enough to kill it... Bleeding profusely but not enough to kill it...

Did my "Lan Hao Ren" character get the better of me this time round again?!

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

!!!So Pissed!!!

Why am I pissed? Supposedly, this week I'm still on Leave, but because I wanna hand over all my documents to my supervisor Mr. Anand, I purposely took Off from work, forsaking $200 of pay , on Tuesday and Wednesday. I even called him last thursday to inform him that I'll be going back to Camp to hand over all my documents to him blah blah blah. And even sent him a sms on sunday night to remind him again.

And guess what? I went back to camp on Tuesday, and he informed me that he's taking leave on Wednesday & Thursday. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!??????? Then why the heck I go back to camp for? For fun?

KaoZ!!! I was so pissed on tuesday that I didn't wanna talk to anyone in Camp. I was suppressing my anger all the way till 5pm.

Furthermore, all the things that I told my guys to do, none of the things were done according to what I've told them. FUCK man!!! I even went to the extend to type out nicely for them, what to do, where to do, who to look for etc etc. When I checked back with them last friday, they said that everything has been done accordingly. But when I went back on Tuesday... EVERYTHING was done wrongly. I had to spend the whole Tuesday correcting all the mistakes that have been made, plus, clear out my cupboard, go through all my documents to make sure that everything that I wanna hand over is intact blah blah blah....

ARGHHH!!!!!!!!! So pissed off!!!

Saturday, September 01, 2007

...Wise words...

I never thought that a stranger's words could have such a big impact on me...

Today at work...I stayed back a little while and had a small chat with Han Siong... His words were like a wake up call to me...

"Jonny...Have you ever wonder why she never choose you even after so long?"

"Nope...Why?"

"Have you ever wonder what type of guy she likes?"

"Hmmmm....Perhaps someone who has a lot of character..."

"Which means you're a person without character?"

"No....What I meant is... ... Maybe my character doesn't suit the character she sees in her fantasy..."

"Then what is it that you lack?"

"What I lack??? I dunno... Maybe I'm not rich... No car... Not handsome enough..."

"KaoZ!!! But..have you ever propose to her?"

"Yeah...countless times... Till I've lost count..."

"Have you ever thought of giving up??"

"Maybe..."

"Cause too tired?"

"Partially... Cause it's been four long years... Kinda drained out a lot of my energy... But it's hard to do it..."

"Yeah... I understand... Well... I guess you better get going..."

Me & Han Siong ain't very close...But his words... were more direct than anyone else...

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I know we can never be together.... I know you might never choose me... I know by doing so, I'm actually hurting myself... But I just don't wanna give up something which I never had the chance to try...

Four years le... My door has been left wide open for four years. Never once have I closed that door on you. Forever waiting for you to step in. But every time you reach the entrance. You hesitated to step in, and just turned away... But time & time again, I told myself: "It's ok! One day, I believe you'll walk through that door, and never walk away ever again..."

This thought... I held on for 4 years, many a times it shook and swung, whenever i know that you're attached... But this time... I don't know how much longer I can hold on... With it hit I receive, I feel that my heart is slowing losing its grip...

I really dunno how much longer it can hold on... Please... Let it fall to its death, never again shall it love. Or rescue it and love it with all your heart & soul...

For my heart has been hurt... too deep...