The answer

很感谢您那么的认真的回答我。 至少我知道原来我是一个那么失败的人。谢谢您。
但为何一定要把话说得那么难堪吗? 有这必要吗? 有必要说: "反正你看了，读了，
也没什么反应， 没伤心，又曾样? 你说有更多要说，但却那已经足够了。我猜始终
你没有了解到我真正需要的是真正的批评，能把我辩得有多一文不值，就把我辩得
多一文不值。因为我觉得只有你会坦白，但你没有。

我很失望，但同时也感激您。。。
你答了。到我回应了

You were a nice girl, even now you still are. We had laughters, joy and fun. Weekends spent with you seem to make me forget the tough trainings I had in camp. Each and every week I looked forward to each weekend outing with you.

You told me about you wanna look more pretty, you wanna have a change. I helped you, but I made a fatal mistake. I didn't find out what you wanna be. All along I was forcing you into how I wanna you to look like. I knew that all along, you didn't voice out, thus I went along.

When you chose to stop, you didn't told me. I didn't know at all. Just simple that I wasn't You.
I wished once upon a time that with the assistance of those clothes you would be more confident of yourself. Cuz, I was trying to inject more confident in you thru clothing first, den slowly remove the need for nice clothings, once you have the confidence. But i guess you gave up and went with your own thinking, which I am happy for you, through your true words.

I never forced you to dress beautifully, whenever we go out. I merely encouraged you to do so. For I know all girls wish to be more pretty at one point of time.

I'm into Fashion, because I wanna pursue my dream of opening a Fashion Boutique. I'm sorry if that made you think that I'm a person who goes for looks and is too shallow. I'm into Techonolgy, creativity and futuristic stuffs, because I'm a person who is fascinated by these things. And also I have the dream to open a Cyber Cafe.

I have a big dream where, I wish that everyone would be beautiful and happy.

I have my goals, dreams and targets in Life. And I'm glad you have yours. How I wan my room to look like, is a sketch that I've been planning . I wan the place I sleep in to be as comfortable as it can be. A place where I can chill out after a tiring day of work. Or a secret hideout from all the troubles in the world. Where I can "feel safe & easy" mentally.

Same as you, I'm working hard for what I want my life to be, as well as how I want my parents to enjoy their later years. I'm not restricting what you do or what you desire in Life. I'm not your God nor Father.

Sooner than I know, I realised that you're beginning to drift away. I never once doubted that you've gotten out of the shadow of your last relationship. Because you never once dared to face that shadow within you, because you were afraid of something, that I'm not sure. Only you know that answer...

I'm a guy that really dotes on the girl I love. Anything she wants, I'll get it for her. I'll 迁就 her in almost anyway possible, even to the extend of really spoiling her badly. I treated them like how a girl would wanna be treated, a queen, a princess, the darling.

I'm poor, Yes I know. I'm currently jobless, in a sense. I'm currently without a career. I can't support you. Yes! That i know. I'm unable to be beside you when you need a shoulder to lean on. Because I'm in Army. All the more I feared, because I'm afraid that I won't be able to give you happiness.

I don't like my friends to feel unhappy, thus I always see myself as a "clown", an entertainer, a laughing-stock, at least to make my friends forget their woes for a brief moment.

How you feel inside? I will never ever know. Because I'm not you. Who would know how you are feeling inside, if you never once wanna share?

If my topics are boring you. Just tell me, and I'll shut up and be quiet all the way. It's that simple.

Ever since I came to know the value of money, I've never been calculative with friends. Cuz money to me is this: "We earn money, is to spend money. When we finished spending, we just earn again." I've never been calculative with money, unless it's to do with important things. Still, I dunno from which occassion you felt this way.

I can afford those things in branded shops, but I just don't wanna buy them, because I know I can use the same amount of money to buy clothes which are cheaper and of same quality, or even better. I'm trying out all these clothes, is because I needed to gather information on the type of textile used for each type of cloth and how it feels against the skin. How it will appear and how to match it with other clothes.

People who understands you really well, are those people you openly share your true feelings with, but those who don't understand you are those people whom you don't wish to share your feelings with.

Sometimes, it questions me why is it so hard for you to share your woes and troubles with your friends? Especially those that cares alot about you? Is it because you're afraid to open up, in fear of getting hurt? Or is it because of other things? Only you know the answer.

I am a person who really cares for my friends alot, and somehow or rather have this urge to take good care of my friends. Thus, alot of my friends look upon me like a "Big Brother", though I never once thought of it that way.
Simply, because friends mean alot to me, whether you're close or not close. I am a person who is willing to help anyone, even if you're nasty to me. For I see no use of hating someone or something, as it's a total waste of energy. People may say that I'm just being too kind and good or simply called "烂好人", which one of my dearest female friends, said this to me a long, long, time ago, as a reminder for me.

And even till today, this 3 simple words still struck a cord in me, strongly.

If all the aeroplanes that I've put you made you so disgusted about me, then I guess I've no point in explaining myself further, for in your heart I'm already a "bad person".

Just remember these words: "What you see & hear, may not be what you think the situation is. Because there's always 3 sides to a coin."