Was on MSN the morning and afternoon. Reason: I didn't know where to go. Used up most of my allowances from the NS to pay off my bills and Poly school fee loan. Now, I'm left with hardly enough to survive the rest of the month... I'm not sure how to heck am i gonna make it thru if I kena posted to OCS or SISPEC...
But thanks to Ah ting! My Saviour! haha! Was chatting with her over MSN and she told me that there was Ren Cai Ban today and they were gonna meet up together for dinner @5:45pm @Tampines MRT platform before going to Tian Hui for the lesson.
Well, asked her for some opinions on how I should handle my current "Love" problem. And as I expected, I got common answers from her which I would normally gave to other people... Can't deny the phrase "What goes around, comes around"
Had a chat with Yue Hui and she suddenly asked me whether have I fallen for someone now, as she referred to my MSN nick....
Well, I said yeah! And played a guessing game with her. Was actually doing this on purpose, so that she could temporarily get her mind off all the reports which she has been writing on it for weeks.
Her first guess was Hui Juan aka MaMa. Which was wrong of cause. So, I asked her why her? She said, cuz that's the one friend she and I know of... Sigh...
Only goes to show that she hasn't been very observant of the friends I had around me...haha!!!Actually, I can't really blame her, cuz for the past 3 months, it has always been me and her. Me and her. me and her. Whenever we go out. And occasionally, with Andy and some of her other friends from Poly...
Gave her all the hints that I could gave without revealing that it was her and still she couldn't get it. Was she really blur or just acting blur???
My time at Ren Cai Ban wasn't very good, cuz I realised that I was lagging way way way behind! I don't even had a clue how far they've progressed. The only thing I kinda knew of was that they were currently trying to memorise poetry lines.
After the lesson, I went up to the lady who was in-charge of my cell group and told her that, currently, I'm still under NS and that most probably, I might not be able to attend most of the lessons. And asked her whether that would pose a problem...The answer I got: Nothing...
Well, since she was still unable to give me a proper answer, I might as well just head home first and attend whatever remaining I can attend and leave the rest of it to the HQ to decide. If they decided that I shall not complete, then so be it...
Took my time to walk back home... Cuz I needed some time to think about some thing. Think about whether I should confess to Yue Hui about my feelings. But I feared of jeopardising our friendship... What if everything fail? How am I gonna face her in the future? Would our friendship remain as how it is now? Am I gonna risk everything???
Still even when I got home... I still couldn't get an answer. But mostly probably, the answer I would get is this:
[Being friends, beats being a couple]
Reached home, and immediately switched on my PC and logged onto MSN. And BAM! She's online! haha! But her replies were unlike normal. They were all very short replies. She doesn't seem to be in a good mood, and whatever events that happened she doesn't really seemed to care much... Whatever that happened, she doesn't really wanna convey to me. Well, I can't force her as she had the right to choose whether she wanna tell me or not... ... Thus I respected her decision...
Chatted with a close friend as well, Kathy..haha! The silly girl and also my big Saviour!!! Haven seen her in eon!! and still her character didn't change much haha!!! Still the same Kathy I knew before I went into Army, always like to argue with me over things and seem to be lost at the things Ichat with her loLZ... Got to know that she had found a job at the Manicure shop at Bugis Village 2nd Floor. But I always frequent there but why I never see her... Maybe it's luck bahZ... Oh well. I'll try to visit her again this weekend...Perhaps I have better luck haha!!!
As I was chatting with her, my Dad suddenly pop his head into my room and announced this Earth-shattering news: [SON! I WISH TO RECOMMEND YOU TO BECOME A TANG ZHU...]
The moment I heard this, I immediately said: [Dad! Can't lah... I'm still too young for this, and moreover I'm still not ready for the big responsibility. Why not wait till I'm about 24 or 25, when my mind is more mature and has seen the world a little more, then we talk about this matter?]
Gosh! Can't believe what I just heard from my dad's mouth... I can totally, 100%, from the bottom of my heart, tell you that if my dad wants me to be a Tang Zhu now. I can very well say that I'm not ready for this. I'm not matured enough for this. Cuz my mind, body and soul haven't settled down at all. With these 3 things still hanging in mid-air, I can't take up this huge responsibility, when I can't even settle myself... ... Perhaps I should have a good talk with dad tomorrow night after [Lao Mu Da Dian]...
Wanna know something even better??? Had a good chat with MaMa just a few moments ago. It's been a long long time since we chatted, be it face-to-face, over the phone or over MSN. Still, we chatted like old times haha! We chatted about everything under the stars. From her BF, to a new guy who might have a crush on her to my future plannings.
Only thing bothered me a little....She was laughing alot while we were chatting. Which was unlike her. Perhaps it might be that she was utterly worried about her BF. Cuz her BF was under mono-intake for 42 SAR. which I heard was darn darn XIONG. and also her BF has just gotten sick and is now in Medical Center. It might be that she was using laughter as a way to cast her fears, worries and thoughts away...
It's been tough on you MaMa... But don't worry... His first bookout is coming soon haha!!!
MaMa also asked me whether I could make it to Sentosa this Sunday. I could only tell her: "I'm not sure...Cuz the only thing holding me back is the result of my posting..." The best thing I can hope for it that my book in timing in on Monday Morning...so that I can enjoy myself on Sunday before I book in, and perhaps confess to her. If only... If only... That's all I can think of... If God hears me, please let this dream come true...
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