I never thought that a stranger's words could have such a big impact on me...
Today at work...I stayed back a little while and had a small chat with Han Siong... His words were like a wake up call to me...
"Jonny...Have you ever wonder why she never choose you even after so long?"
"Nope...Why?"
"Have you ever wonder what type of guy she likes?"
"Hmmmm....Perhaps someone who has a lot of character..."
"Which means you're a person without character?"
"No....What I meant is... ... Maybe my character doesn't suit the character she sees in her fantasy..."
"Then what is it that you lack?"
"What I lack??? I dunno... Maybe I'm not rich... No car... Not handsome enough..."
"KaoZ!!! But..have you ever propose to her?"
"Yeah...countless times... Till I've lost count..."
"Have you ever thought of giving up??"
"Maybe..."
"Cause too tired?"
"Partially... Cause it's been four long years... Kinda drained out a lot of my energy... But it's hard to do it..."
"Yeah... I understand... Well... I guess you better get going..."
Me & Han Siong ain't very close...But his words... were more direct than anyone else...
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I know we can never be together.... I know you might never choose me... I know by doing so, I'm actually hurting myself... But I just don't wanna give up something which I never had the chance to try...
Four years le... My door has been left wide open for four years. Never once have I closed that door on you. Forever waiting for you to step in. But every time you reach the entrance. You hesitated to step in, and just turned away... But time & time again, I told myself: "It's ok! One day, I believe you'll walk through that door, and never walk away ever again..."
This thought... I held on for 4 years, many a times it shook and swung, whenever i know that you're attached... But this time... I don't know how much longer I can hold on... With it hit I receive, I feel that my heart is slowing losing its grip...
I really dunno how much longer it can hold on... Please... Let it fall to its death, never again shall it love. Or rescue it and love it with all your heart & soul...
For my heart has been hurt... too deep...
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